Couples Boudoir, Family Portraits & Boudoir Photography
Author:Mike Allebach
Hailed by a Rock n Roll Bride as “the Original Tattooed Bride Photographer” Mike Allebach possesses an amazing ability to naturally photograph life on the fringe. He is a visual campfire storyteller. His journey into wedding photography started when he was in a punk rock band. Before photographing weddings, he photographed punk bands. Ariel author of Offbeat Bride said “It’s obvious that Mike Allebach so totally gets offbeat brides”
Mike says about his clients, “In my heart I’m instinctively inclusive, always looking for ways to draw others into the circle and make them feel wanted, heard, and appreciated. It’s my punk rock ethic. The uniqueness of my photos comes from the uniqueness of my clients. And I believe I have the best clients in the world.”
Your Couples Boudoir experience with Allebach Photography can be broken down into several badass pieces:
The Couples Boudoir Pregame
First, we’ll set up a phone call where we’ll get to learn a little more about you and your partner and what this experience will mean to the both of you. Not only will this give us the tools to capture your own unique relationship, it’s also an opportunity for you to ask us any questions you might have.
The day of your session you’ll arrive at our newly renovated 1850s Loft Studio ready to kick back and be pampered. We’ll introduce you the incredibly talented hair and makeup artists that are going to work with you to create a look that captures your inner rock star.
“I loved that it started with getting my hair and make up done for me, because who doesn’t love getting pampered? But even better, the beautician he has on site is not only talented, but a wonderful person. It’s nice to know from the moment you walk in you’re going to be around pleasant people who want you to be comfortable,” says Antonia, who recently did a couples session with her husband, Tim.
For the first hour you’ll get hair and makeup done while we energize you with coffee, espresso and tea. If you’d like, you’re more than welcome to bring beer or champagne.
The Main Event: Couples Boudoir Photos
Now the fun really begins!
Many couples bring several wardrobe pieces and during your session, you’ll be free to get as dressed or as undressed as you’d like. We encourage you to step outside of your comfort zone but it is not something you are required to do. This, after all, is about you. That said, we do have a bell you get to ring if you do get fully naked!
During your session, will use our expertise to guide you through poses, but within moments you’ll barely even notice us there.
“We ended up having a blast with Mike and the photo shoot. He made us feel so comfortable and at ease, that we just lost ourselves in each other. We had such a fun time changing outfits, taking Mike’s direction for photo shots, and creating our own spin on several photos we ended up taking and buying. We really let ourselves get into the moment and at times forgot Mike was even there taking photos of us during some of our most vulnerable and somewhat intimate moments,” says Michelle, who recently did a Couples Boudoir session with her husband Ron.
Once your session is complete, we’ll bring out some snacks so you can take a break and unwind while we go behind the scenes to create a beautiful presentation of your photographs.
The Big Photo Reveal & Boudoir Artwork Design
In our cinematic reveal room, you get to see a slideshow of everything you did and everything you achieved. You will get to relive those feelings and emotions and empowerment! And together, with your photographer, you will get to design the artwork you will cherish in your home, and in those sacred spaces, forever!
“Mike really captured the love between us, and I treasure seeing how we look at each other in those pictures. The pictures now hang proudly in our bedroom always reminding us how sexy we are and how much love we hold for each other, and sometimes you just need those little things to put things in perspective,” says Amy, a client that recently did a Couples session with her husband Tim.
This experience is designed specifically to cater to you and what you want to get out of it. It’s not about us. You deserve to feel empowered. Your strength deserves to be honored. Your story deserves to be told.
If you’ve been to Allebach Photography, you know how much we love artwork; from the statement pieces displayed in the most prominent spaces in your home, to the coffee table artwork meant to tell an intimate story.
Since the launch of our Renaissance of Mom campaign, which is now relaunched as a new model call for families, I’ve been excited to create a two-tone cover, sample album to have in our studio!
This new upgrade is such a beautiful way to add a little pop and personality to your album, so you can’t help but want to hold it and relive all of those beautiful moments captured together.
Ready for the gift of family portraits? Let’s chat and get started! Schedule a time that works for you at http://www.meetme.so/allebachphone
We serve people from all 50 states! Our studio is located 1 hour from Lancaster, Philadelphia, Allentown, Delaware County, Berks County and a short drive from Lansdale, Doylestown, King of Prussia
It’s hard to do, right? How can you encapsulate everything about your child into three tiny words?
My three favorite to date describe this handsome little guy:
Tenacious | Precocious | Inquisitive
That is exactly how Amber described her son, Wilson. So let’s break down those words and why they so perfectly describe him.
te·na·cious/ adjective
not readily relinquishing a position, principle, or course of action; determined
Wilson, right off the bat, positioned himself as in control as he could possibly be. He totally ran the session and it was worth letting him do so. He worked the camera and worked every moment to his advantage, in the best way possible of course.
pre·co·cious/ adjective
(of a child) having developed certain abilities or proclivities at an earlier age than usual.
Amber being a teacher, Wilson already had a leg up on the other children his age. But you can see in his eyes, his desire to learn and grow. He wants to know it all and soak it in!
in·quis·i·tive/ adjective
curious or inquiring. intrigued.
Going hand in hand with his precocious nature, Wilson is so curious about anything and everything he doesn’t know yet. His mind is buzzing with questions and mom’s got all the answers!
Planning a traditional wedding is crazy stressful. Every single detail ends up mattering more than it needs to. So with an elopement, you get to focus on that really matters the most in the end. The two of you.
Keep it simple, make it weird, design it to be yours. No one, but the two of you, are involved in making decisions.
You get the simplicity of an elopement, while having everyone there. Even people who may not have ever been able to travel for your wedding.
That elderly relative that you love so dearly, may not make it to your wedding in 2021 or even 2022. But they can be with you, watching from afar, as you exchange vows.
One of you may not be able to wait another year or two for the health insurance or the tax benefits that can accompany the legal binding of marriage.
Elopements
Whatever you may have set aside for a traditional wedding, you can put towards a home, a honeymoon, or even an amazing party to celebrate your marriage out of quarantine!
Most elopements are hosted at our studio! So rain or shine, you have a beautifully decorated and professionally lit space to broadcast your ceremony.
Want a destination elopement. That’s possible too and we can still live stream it to your guests!
Ever been to a wedding where you couldn’t hear the bride and groom? The entire ceremony is set up with mics so everyone tuning in can laugh and cry along with you as you exchange your vows.
We are your wedding planners, photographers, and videographers. We will be there, every step of the way, to make this a beautiful, intimate experience. From helping with the decor and officiant, to even helping obtain your marriage certificate. Broadcast your love and have gorgeous photographs to remember this day that was just about the two of you.
If you were planning on getting married this year and had to postpone your reception, or were even planning an elopement to the person you love, we’re here to create a unique experience for you. Our TV and Livestreaming studio is located in the suburbs of Philadelphia. We can help you get a marriage certificate and get eloped easily. Your friends and family will get to join in.
We’ve primarily focused on one parent up until now. It’s time to focus on the whole family!
We’re looking for 6 families, to come model for the day! The spots will go quickly. First come, first serve.
Your session would take place at Allebach Photography in North Wales, PA. For modeling you will receive a complimentary photo session and an experience designed to celebrate you and your family! As a special thank you for participating, you will also receive $200 towards artwork.
If you’re interested, please email Erika at hello@allebachphotography.com with what an experience like this would mean to you. Submit your story by July 7th.
I remember the first time I read Gemma’s story, I knew immediately that this experience would be important for her to have.
Liam is her world. Her sun, her moon, and her stars. He is there for her when she needs an emotional anchor and he also knows when she needs a moment alone.
I remember her describing him as a true gentleman and even calling him a “little mayor” and the moment I met him, I understood what she meant. He has a gentle confidence about him that can command a room and calm a soul.
They are truly lucky to have each other and it was an incredible honor to capture portraits showing their love, care, affection, and respect for one another. Sometimes it’s hard to meet a child, or a parent, where they are emotionally, but Gemma and Liam have that down pat!
When Yana emailed to have her Renaissance of Mom portrait done, I was ecstatic! Her and her husband, Ryan, had come in previously for couples boudoir with Mike, so I was already familiar with how fun loving they are.
Emma was a total delight to photograph. She loved having her portraits done and her eyes sparkled when I showed her the images we captured.
By far, my favorite part about photographing this amazing family was when we got to recreate one of Emma’s favorites things to do.
SCIENCE!
Seeing Emma’s eyes light up when the volcano erupted was magical! Her exploration of science has only just begun and I can’t wait to hear of all the amazing things she will do with that curiosity!
It’s here! Phase Green is here and we couldn’t be more ecstatic to reopen! To celebrate, we’re offering $100 off every photographic experience we offer.
Couples Boudoir
Solo Boudoir
Family Portraits
Renaissance Sessions
Engagements
Elopements
Senior Portraits
Professional Headshots
We’re taking all of the necessary precautions to ensure everyone’s safety as they come through our doors. We will have our face masks on, sanitizer pumps stationed all over the studio, and a UV sanitizer for our phones, keys, and payment devices. We are also only scheduling 1 session a day with room to clean and sanitize the entire studio before and after.
We’ve always wanted our clients to feel they are in a safe space and cared for. Now we are just adding on to what we already do by protecting everyone’s health as well.
When Allison shared her story with me, I knew this experience would mean a lot to her. Raising children on your own is never easy, let alone three boys! Speaking with her, I knew she was a total badass super mom. She’s surely got her hands full and she’s a pro; but we were stoked to help her wrangle these little munchkins for their photos.
“I was hoping to just enjoy the experience and not worry about looking posed or getting something “perfect.” The truth is my life is insane with three little boys and if that’s what the photos showed, I would be happy with it!”
“Everyone made it easy to wrangle three very energetic boys and not put pressure on me or them.”
I met Ashley through her sister, Eryn, who is a wonderful friend of mine. I even flew out to Detroit last year to photograph Ashley’s family! That trip was actually a pivotal moment in my life that lead me to working here at Allebach Photography, so her presence in my life will always be precious to me.
When we launched the Renaissance of Mom, I was ecstatic Ashley responded.
“I have always been the little big sister. The little sister that tried to plan my big sister’s life because obviously I knew better. When she and her husband had a baby, that is where our roles and relationship changed.”
“My sister Eryn made pregnancy make sense. We bonded and got closer than ever and she became the big sister. She became who I leaned on, who I trusted when the stress got to me, who I looked to, to help make things less confusing.
“We are closer and stronger now than ever and want our boys to feel the same. Our sons, upon their first meeting and thereafter, grab hands and light up when they see each other. They have a bond we want to foster until the day we can’t anymore and I want to cherish all moments where they are together.”
Photographing Ashley and Eryn with their boys was one of the most beautiful and emotional sessions for me. I love them both dearly, they are like family to me, but seeing their bond and the love Bash and Addy have for each other is an experience I know they will cherish for a lifetime. Being a part of this is certainly something I will cherish.
I remember speaking to Vanessa on the phone about her pregnancy and raising three children, as well as being a stepmom to teenage son. I thought to myself, “How does she do it?” Both Vanessa and her husband are in the military and she is raising their children through such a tough job. To say I was impressed by her is an understatement and I knew how important this experience was going to be for her.
“I was pregnant with my 4th and last baby and determined to get beautiful pictures that captured the beauty and power of motherhood. Knowing I’ll never experience pregnancy again, this photoshoot was extremely important to me. I wanted to capture my family and body in its current state so that I could look back on it years from now when my kids are grown up and be reminded of this incredibly special time.”
“My kids are 5, 3, and 2 and I know how challenging it is to get even one good picture of them. Erika’s energy and playfulness really got them to open up and feel comfortable which resulted in beautiful, natural moments captured on camera! The results were better than I could have hoped for!”
“My favorite part of the whole experience was the reveal at the end of the photo shoot. Seeing myself on the screen looking so regal was one thing, but then seeing the amazing pictures of my babies with Taylor Swifts “Never Grow Up” as the soundtrack was too much to handle, my husband and I both choked back the tears.”
“I wanted to capture photographs of my family that would become something I’d treasure years and years to come.”
Jenny is a total badass super mom! She’s an incredible tattoo artist, hardcore vegan, and homeschools her kids like a boss. Upon meeting Jesse and Memphis, I could see how much their parents have put into raising them as these empathetic, compassionate people.
I knew how important it was to capture the kids’ personalities and their energy as a family. They really are incredibly connected and it’s beautiful to see the love in these photographs.
“The experience itself was wonderful. I know that every time my children look at the pictures years from now they will still remember the fun we had while capturing the moments. Memories that will last a lifetime all because we have the pictures to remind us not to forget them.”
The word boudoir comes from the French word for a woman’s bedroom or private dressing room. It was a place for her to be alone or to be with someone intimately. In the 1920’s, photographers would recreate this type of environment and photograph the beauty and sexuality of their female models.
In modern day, these photographic experiences can be incredibly empowering, reconnecting us to our most intimate selves, as well as with our partners, in the case of couples’ boudoir. They also serve as a cherished reminder of each person’s unique beauty and confidence, unveiling a new type of comfort within one’s own skin.
At Allebach Photography, we specialize in creating a safe space to embrace your true and best self. During your experience, we encourage you to peel away your own self judgements and critiques and honor the depths of your uniqueness. From the very first time we talk, right up to the moment you get to see your artwork in person, what we care about is you and your own story.
Our goal with each and every person who walks through our doors, is to make them feel like a rockstar! We pamper with hair and makeup. We energize with coffee, espresso, and tea. We nourish with some snacks during your break. And we have a knack for creating breathtaking artwork for your home! We all have a space in our home to retreat to in an attempt to decompress from a hard day. Imagine that space being decorated with artwork that reminds you of your power, your strength, and the love you have to give. That’s what we live for. Creating something that anchors you to those blissful spaces in your heart.
So let’s break down the Allebach Photography experience.
We start with a phone call. This is where we get to hear all about what this will mean to you and what you want your photographs to say each and every time you look at them.
Once we get your experience booked, we will also notify one of our incredible talented hair and makeup artists. We value the wonderful artistry they practice, from light and natural to heavy and punk rock! It’s important to us that you represent the inner badass that you want to channel in these photographs; and that’s why hiring a professional artist is incredibly important to these experience.
The day of, you get to kick back and get pampered for the first hour. Bring wine or beer or champagne if you’d like. Sometimes that liquid courage can shake out those pre-session jitters you may experience. That’s ok and totally normal!
During your session, you are free to get as dressed or as undressed as you’d like. We encourage you to step outside of your comfort zone but it is not something you are required to do. This, after all, is about you. That said, we do have a bell you get to ring if you do get fully naked! It’s hung on a wall with handwritten sentiments about others’ experiences and what they got out of it.
Once your session is complete, we bring out the snacks so you can take a break and unwind, while we create a beautiful presentation of your photographs. In our cinematic reveal room, you get to see a slideshow of everything you did and everything you achieved. You will get to relive those feelings and emotions and empowerment! And together, with your photographer, you will get to design the artwork you will cherish in your home, and in those sacred spaces, forever!
This experience is designed specifically to cater to you and what you want to get out of it. It’s not about us. You deserve to feel empowered. Your strength deserves to be honored. Your story deserves to be told.
Planning a wedding can be tough. Especially now, under such unfamiliar and sometimes unpredictable circumstances.
So when Yolanda and Chris wanted to get married this year, Allebach Photography had the perfect solution. We transformed our studio into a beautiful, picture-perfect, ceremony-ready space; complete with decor by Slay Displays, an officiant, Kalie Johnson, and live-streaming capabilities.
The pair arrived in time to relax a little, sip some wine, get themselves ready, finalize their ceremony details with Kalie, then off to a photo session with Mike.
When it came time for the ceremony, all of their loved ones were watching from their homes, all dressed up for the occasion, ready to be a part of such a special moment for Yolanda and Chris.
It was perfect.
Yolanda and Chris got to enjoy an intimate, emotional, and beautiful ceremony, while friends and family laughed and cried and cheered along with us, from a distance.
If you were planning on getting married this year and had to postpone your reception, or were even planning an elopement to the person you love, we’re here to create a unique experience for you. Our TV and Livestreaming studio is located in the suburbs of Philadelphia. We can help you get a marriage certificate and get eloped easily. Your friends and family will get to join in.
Email us at hello@allebachphotography.com or shoot us a text! 610.539.6920
Allebach Photography
Located on the edge of Montgomery County, Northeast Philadelphia and Bucks County, Pa
In partnership with Skippack Pharmacy and their Support Our Superheroes Fund, you can help provide masks for hospital and emergency personnel.
For every gift certificate or artwork purchase, Allebach Photography will donate towards their campaign to help the essential healthcare workers in our community.
$100 purchase = up to 10 masks
$400 purchase = up to 25 masks
$1000 purchase = up to 50 masks
Your support of Allebach Photography can also support those who need our help the most.
Visit our online store here, to purchase your gift certificate today!
This morning in meditation I got to that point where there are “no thoughts.” As soon as that hits I usually think no thoughts and back to thoughts. Nothing. Then Buddha appears in my mind. Wow, I’m thinking, this is some next-level spiritual meditation shit. This is new for my meditation but okay let’s roll with it.
I asked him “What are you doing here.”
The Buddha responded, “I don’t know.”
Then he sits on my chest.
Immediately it tightens and becomes hard to breathe. Something I’ve never experienced in meditation.
I joke and say, “Buddha, your rolls are beautiful but you know you aren’t light. I’m having trouble breathing. It hurts if I’m honest. Can you tell me why you are sitting on my chest?”
Buddha responded, “I don’t know.”
“Okay, well if you are going to sit here, do you have any idea when you might leave?”
Buddha responded, “I don’t know.”
“Well, Buddha since you aren’t leaving. I’m calling you Buddha Don’t Know.”
I looked up and saw his stupid grin.
“Lesson learned. Well played Buddha, well played.”
I laughed for a bit but the Buddha didn’t leave.
The heaviest space of all is the “I don’t know.” The space of not knowing how things will play out has a weight. Sometimes the scariest place feels like the pause button. When we reevaluate things with questions of “is this working?” or “is this worth it?”
This is the space in life, work, relationships, and health when nothing makes sense. When the final destination seems murky at best, things tighten and breathing becomes labored.
Right now we are sitting with I don’t know. Doesn’t seem like Buddha wants to get off my chest or anyone else’s. Even the leaders of the world don’t exactly know how this will play out. This “I don’t know” is weighing on every leader, business person and every health care worker right now.
I don’t know when this feeling will go away but I do know you are not alone in feeling this way.
Maybe that’s what anxiety is, the space of Buddha Don’t Know 😉
Can you relate?
Mike Allebach is a business owner and portrait artist at Allebach Photography in the suburbs of Philadelphia.
So many of our families come with ideas for beautiful wall art in their homes. Above the sofa, climbing the stairs, in a playroom, or family room… So many spaces in their homes where meaningful artwork should be installed and enjoyed for a lifetime.
But of the 5-15 or so images that are created to adorn their walls, what is done with the remaining moments from the session? What should you do with those in-between, meaningful moments that tell their own little stories?
For a majority of our clients, we create a keepsake album to relive the magical moments they shared in our studio. There’s nothing better than cuddling on the sofa, opening up the album, and remembering how much fun you all had together. Reliving one of those rare moments you set aside to just be a family, no distractions, just connectedness and love.
The moments and artwork we create together will be cherished and revisited for a lifetime.
Allebach Photography now offers Renaissance family photos! This must-have photo experience will bring joy to your family for ages. Our studio is located only 10 Minutes from Lansdale, Montgomeryville, Blue Bell and Kulpsville. Families from around the United States make the trek to Allebach Photography for their family photo experience. These portraits will be proudly displayed on your walls for years to come! What a beautiful investment into your family’s legacy.
Kids grow up so quickly. Capture their spirit! Document their love and creativity. Your family deserves to be loved and cherished.
From the quiet momentsTo moments of laughterEnjoy their chubby cheeksCherish their smilesRest in their joyEnjoy your journeyYou are stronger togetherEnjoying life as it happensCapturing the moments as they occurEnjoying their spirit and loveThese are the moments we spend togetherBring out the sillinessThis is the renaissance of momPortraits your family will cherish for generations These are the moments once captured we’ll never forgetYou could travel the world and come back to these memoriesCherish these portraitsThis is loveTheir spirits are beautifulTheir light shinesWe are captivated by their joy in these photosThey teach us how to be freeThese are the family photos you’ve been waiting for!They won’t stay this small foreverTheir love brings everyone closerCapturing experiments and their curiosityTheir expressions bring us lifeThese are a different kind of family photosPure joy, life and love captured for your homeEvery portrait deserves to be on a wallWatch them These are the memories and portraits you’ll cherishThe quiet moments can be the most important moments to captureBring your family together.Let’s remember through portraits
You can have family portraits you’ll treasure. Life moves pretty fast and we can help you to pause for a moment and focus on what truly matters. These photos will join your walls and be a treasure for your family for decades to come!
Don’t wait another moment. Book your photography experience today. Text 610.539.6920 or schedule a phone call at http://www.meetme.so/allebachphone
Just a few areas we serve with family portraits and photography: Bryn Mawr, Bensalem, Doylestown, New Hope, King of Prussia, North Wales, Rosemont, Villanova, Radnor, St. Davids, Wayne, Strafford, Devon, Berwyn, Daylesford, Paoli, and Malvern
“I love you.” I cannot tell you how many times I croon these three words to my infant son in a single day. I can say “I love you,” with ease in the morning to my husband before he leaves for work. Hell, I even tell my dogs how much I love them on a daily basis. But to tell myself “I love you?” I have to admit – my first thought was this sounds a little narcissistic. And my second thought was even worse. “Why should you love yourself?”
Mirror work – also known as the mirror exercise, mirror technique and mirror gazing – is a powerful tool for building self-love and one that I have to admit sounded too silly and too easy to work.
“Most of us when we look in a mirror we criticize ourselves, make fun of ourselves. We say derogatory things to ourselves. It’s a habit. The mirror, as small as it may be, can really help you connect with yourself,” says Louise Hay, author and self-help advocate.
The idea is simple; you stand in front of a mirror, stare deeply into your own eyes, and say to yourself, “I love you.”
There are all sorts of variations to this practice. You can repeat those words over and over again to yourself, or you can add positive affirmations like “I am enough,” or “I am beautiful in my own skin.” You can talk to yourself like you would an old friend – positive self-talk is the key to this practice.
I decided to start with the mirror exercise first thing in the morning because they say that’s when your mind is the most susceptible. First thing in the morning, by the way for me, meant disheveled bed head, pajamas, and no makeup.
I stood in front of our full-length mirror and took a breath, already starting to criticize my pores, untamed baby hairs, and saggy chest. All that in just a matter of seconds!
“I love you,” I whispered, not in the mood to be overheard by my husband and having to explain myself. “I love you,” I say again a little louder this time, looking into my eyes. I cocked my head and made a dumb face at myself. This seems silly. I repeat those words a few more times before deciding to tell myself just what I love, or at least like, about myself.
“I love your soft, fine hair.”
“I love the shape of your ears.”
“I love the multi-colors of your eyes.”
“I love that you don’t take yourself too seriously.”
“I love that, even though you sort of hate the way your breasts look right now, you are putting your son’s health first by nourishing him with them.”
Boom.
While it was nice to acknowledge some of my surface traits (like my hair and eyes), what struck the biggest chord with me was when I dug a little deeper and looked at what my body does for me and for others.
“I love that not only do you have cute ears, but those ears help you to hear the world around you, like your son’s belly laugh!”
“I love that not only are your eyes a fun kaleidoscope of colors, but they also help you see and navigate a beautiful world!”
I left our mirror feeling a little goofy, but nonetheless happier with myself and ready to move forward with my day.
The goal of the mirror exercise is not to become self-centered or narcissistic, I realized, it’s about being thankful for your body and developing a healthy self-perception.
While I started off small with my exercise, I plan to continue on a daily schedule, moving first from loving my outside to then focusing on what’s inside.
Christine Wolkin is a freelance writer and writes for Allebach Photography. Learn more about our studio at Allebachphotography.com or by texting 610.539.6920.
Success is the sum of small efforts – repeated day in and day out. – Robert Collier
I remember feeling stuck last summer thinking how the bad hits kept on coming. Stuck in a deep state of depression, the future looked darker and darker (read my story here). Not one to believe in bad luck, I started to wonder if I was cursed. In this place, I realized there are small things that do make a big difference. There are teeny tiny micro-movements that help make things better when things don’t seem like they can get better.
Photo used with permission: lassedesignen
Forming habits didn’t come easy for me at first because I wanted to go all in. I wanted to feel like I arrived. These ideas I want to share with you come from a place of struggle, distraction and some victories.
Can today be better than yesterday? With the foggy confusing shades of depression glasses and most people would honestly answer “probably not.” If you are an entrepreneur or human, in general, being resilient can positively affect your income and result. So what happens when your get up and go has gone up and went? How can you find your motivation? How can you get shit done?
Let’s explore the smallest things that can make a difference.
“Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.”
— Mahatma Gandhi
Win the Morning Win the Day
Habits and routines got me through pieces of my darkest times. My artist brain, as I affectional call it, actively fights habit and routine. It searches for the new and the novel. But in crisis, in depression, in darkness but I have found consistent habits have healing power. The time you wake up isn’t as important as having a plan. Do you scroll and stall or have purpose and direction? I’ve been a morning person and I’ve been a night person.
I enjoy working on my day plan in the morning. If mornings are tough, write out your plan the day before. Whether you are early bird or night owl, your first few waking hours set the tone for the day. To set the tone, I work on my daily plan and meditation. Many people hit the most difficult task of the day first. I just try to meditate and plan first.
The least useful thing was the depressed zombie social media scroll of boredom. It’s such a default mode. It didn’t do me any favors. Comparison is the thief of joy and that’s what social media seems to be great at pointing out. It’s hard to have gratitude when you look at everyone’s highlight reel on social media and compare it to what’s currently missing in your life.
What’s Actually Important Right Now?
In my brain there are exactly 72 monkeys jumping on the bed of new ideas, making lame dad jokes, dreaming of new tasks, connecting ideas, eating anxiety pie and throwing poo. It’s chaos in there. So many distractions. Squirrel! I have a hard time sitting through a movie, I get bored. Who gets bored with most movies? I digress.
This is why I meditate and this is why I walk in nature, this is why I move my body. These three things settle me. Creativity is great but there are times when I want to settle and get the work done.
My home screen phone wallpaper asks the always timely question: “Where should my attention be right now?” as a reminder.
Pick 1 to 3 important tasks for the day. Write them in your planner. Get them done and reward yourself!
Unless you already have an app that is working for you, I recommend a paper planner. My favorite is the Passion Planner (used 3 years) but any will do including a plain notebook. Physical writing has a therapeutic aspect to it. It’s real. The planner you choose doesn’t matter as much as using it daily. Everything is overwhelming until you write it out in list form. Write and release. Cross out the unimportant tasks. If you are like me you vastly overestimate how much you can get done in a day. You can’t do everything but you can do some things. So plan out your success. My coach Megan suggested I also plan in two-hour blocks of nothingness because I can’t estimate how long tasks take. Literally today I will only have finished two out of three of my main goals. Two out of three big tasks are better than zero out of three. Maybe you can relate.
Letting Go, Setting Boundaries and Saying No
To create good changes, make some space. Pick some easy people, places and things to let go of. This might be a temporary movement, just long enough to start to feel like you again. Spend less time around people who drain your will to live. Create some boundaries. Get creative with people you currently have to work or live with.
Not to Do List
More important than your to-do list is your NOT to-do list. Make a list of things that pull you away from your goals and goodness. Think of things you can avoid without much consequence. What activity can you remove that will free up the most time to work on the important task? Delete apps. Install time blockers like Waste No-Time, use time trackers like Timeular and Forest App. I use all of these tools. And for the love of all that is holy turn off your email notifications and as many social media app notifications as possible.
Unfollowing
What are you doing following people on social media who you allow to make you feel inferior? Unfollow people, block companies and anything that makes you feel less than. Don’t even bother psychoanalyzing why. Just hit that unfollow button. Fall in love with and get slutty with that unfollow button. Click unfollow now, figure it out later.
How to Set New Micro Habits
Small incremental changes are what we are after. After reading too many books on building habits, I have come to believe this: People don’t stick to habits because they are too ambitious in the first 30 days. Give yourself a small task with big rewards. We think massive results require massive change. They don’t. It’s about doing small things daily or weekly until they become a part of your identity.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
— William Durant
Personally, I hate running but I feel good with movement. I started playing with the identity of a runner who hates running. Identities are like dress up for adults. Habits create identities over time. When we identify with a community, we become them. We can change and try on many identities. We can let go of past identities, no need to get stuck in past stories.
Micro Habits Are Easy When You Lower the Bar and Raise the Reward
I’ve tried so many tactics to set a new habit and this is what works. Lower the bar and use the mantra of app programmers “Minimum Viable Product.” Do something for 30 days at the bare minimum.
The way I got comfortable with video, started running (I’m at 30 days at 7 miles a week), meditating, breathing, running and every other good habit happened by striving for 30 days.
It’s much better to do something 5 minutes a day for 30 days than crash by day 3 from going too hard. Change your habit after 30 days but not before. My gratitude habit takes 1 minute a day. Presently, an app on my phone alerts me to write what I’m grateful for. I write one word or a sentence. That’s it. I’m consistent. I can always find a minute.
Treat Yourself
Rewards are important, whether you decide to plan a trip or give yourself a tiny piece of chocolate, treat yoself. Many of my photography clients tell me their photo session is their reward. Put a big reward after tasks that are a bit more difficult. I’ve heard about a salesperson who breaks apart a cookie and gives themselves a crumb after every dial. Do whatcha gotta do!
If you started a habit and after a week are having trouble with completing a task don’t be afraid to cut the length of time or effort in half. It’s better to do that than stop.
Download our free simple 30 Day Habit Tracking Form
“The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
After 30 days, it’s up to you. I’ve found It’s much easier keeping a habit when you’ve got those 30 days in.
Change Your Environment Make sure your physical and mental space supports the changes you are making. Physically bring items closer to you to make your goals easier. Move away from distractions. The more you can make your environment support your goals and create systems to support them, the more successful you’ll be.
Use the Buddy System
“Surround yourself with people who remind you more of your future than your past.
—Dan Sullivan
Digital and human accountability is great for keeping healthy habits. Check-in with someone daily, weekly or monthly to motivate you to keep going. Accountability apps, daily reports or notifications from apps that help keep goals have been great. It’s fun to watch your progress. I use the Samsung app on my phone to track my movement progress. My slow ass started running at around a 12-minute mile on the treadmill and after a month of running a mile was down to 9:19 (not impressive for runners, but I impressed myself).
Don’t have the right friend for your habit? Get a coach or trainer. I use coaching for many aspects of my life or business. Pay upfront if you can. Spent money is a great motivator. My book wouldn’t have gotten written without a coach helping me along the way.
“Human beings evolved needing two key types of environments: high stress and high recovery”
Benjamin Hardy, Willpower Doesn’t Work
Rest, Sleep, Enjoy Life & Repeat Life is more than a to-do list. Decide on quitting time. Enjoy life. Get some sleep. People who “work” all the time aren’t very good at working. They have become really good at appearing to work or procrastination. Work less, enjoy more! The rule of 55 states on average you can only get done 55 hours of work a week. After that, you are just bullshitting yourself. At 60 hours, you might complete the same amount of work of a 50 hour a week person. For me, this meant taking Sundays off and not keeping a computer at home. I try to enjoy the outdoors every Sunday possible. I’m getting better at this but many days it’s still a struggle. Two steps forward and one step back is still progress.
My hope for you is a life of purpose and joy. Make it harder to skip your habits than to keep them. Keep your movements micro until the patterns stick. Use friends, coaches, and technology to keep you on task and enjoy the journey along the way.
