“I Am That Beautiful and I Did Deserve This and I Did A Damn Good Job”

Emily has been a fan of Allebach Photography since seven years ago, when the studio captured her and her college sweetheart’s wedding day.

“My mom was a guest at a wedding Mike photographed YEARS ago and she told me he was the only one she would consider for my wedding,” she explained. 

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Fast-forward to today and Emily has much in her life to celebrate. In addition to having a three-year-old son that she loves to pieces, she also has been working closely with a therapist on loving herself just as much as she loves her son and husband. 

“I’ve had a very complicated relationship with my body since childhood, and that’s something I’ve been working very hard with my therapist to heal,” she said. 

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When Emily saw our ad for a solo session model call, she knew she just had to go for it – it was the perfect opportunity to wind up full circle with her body work. 

“I’ve been working really hard on myself with my new therapist and now seemed like the perfect time to push myself that much farther,” she said. 

Though she was excited for her session, there was always that little bit of anxiety leading up to the day.  

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“I didn’t want to be nervous, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t. My biggest fear was that I would hold myself back and then not get the most out of my session as a result. I set the intention from the minute I decided to do the model call that I was going to give 110 percent, and in the days leading up it was scary to think about doing that. I spent a lot of time really talking to myself and reminding myself that I was going to make the most of my session, regardless of that little voice in my head telling me I couldn’t do it,” says Emily.

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Another thing Emily did to set herself up for success for her session was choose her outfits carefully to reflect her own confidence. 

“I bought four different looks and we used three of them. I’m SO glad we decided to start with the jeweled fishnet body stocking. As soon as I decided to book my session, I knew that would be one of my looks, and as a result I felt super confident in it.”

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She also brought a black strappy bodysuit with thigh high boots and her other favorite look, a cutoff white tank with grey undies. 

“It was so organic to finish up in the casual look. I was at my most open and vulnerable and it really translates in the images” she said.

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Another thing that helped boost her confidence; Emily’s husband and friend also attended the shoot for moral support.

“I was lucky enough to have not only Erika and Mike to photograph me, but also my husband David and Annie to support me. Every single detail of the day went into making me feel safe, supported, and comfortable. And that safety and love was key in me really allowing myself to open up without fear.”

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And not only did she have her squad there cheering her on, but she also made new friends in the process! “The level of personal connection I felt was indescribable, it’s not just walking in and taking sexy pictures. This was my first time meeting Erika, and honestly after our talk in the beginning of the session I felt so comfortable with her. By the end of the session, she felt like a best friend,” she said. 

She continued, “The way Mike and Erika work together just makes the session that much better, and it’s something I didn’t think I would appreciate so much going into it. Seeing how comfortable they are with each other, how they help each other out, and they’re so in tune with both each other and the direction that the session is going, made me feel that much more comfortable.”

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Emily describes her session as complete and total catharsis and says struggles to put into words just how powerful her her session made her feel. 

“I think the best thing to do is just share the images with you all because they are THAT DAMN POWERFUL. I tried my best to give everything I had during my session, and seeing the images was just this tangible proof that I had succeeded in this almost lifelong battle with myself over my own beauty and my own worthiness. Like, fuck yes, I am that beautiful and I did deserve this and I did a damn good job.”

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She continued, “I feel like the timing for this was just so right. Everything aligned perfectly and the whole day was magical. It was a day of such intense emotions and I’m so thankful to Erika and Mike, not only for the phenomenal art they created, but for working so well with me to get to that point. Everything from the hair and makeup, to the music, to the atmosphere. It felt like every single aspect of the day was chosen specifically for me, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels that way after their session. It’s an experience like no other.”

Emily now has an album of her boudoir session to go along with her wedding album and can look through those photos anytime she starts to body check and criticize herself.

“There was one image from that day that I just completely fell in love with. I tend to be self conscious of my face, and it’s this raw, beautiful image of my face and I just want to see it every single day.”

She continues, “Please book your session now and please be ready to really and truly be honest with yourself and let them capture it. I know this is personal to me, but I can honestly say I’ve been working so hard on loving myself. There’s just been this little wall I have left, the wall that keeps me from fully letting go, the wall built by the fear of being judged by other people. I won’t say that Mike and Erika broke down that wall, because I feel like to some extent that implies that it was forced or something that was done to me. Mike and Erika sat with me for those few magical hours, and brick by brick, we took that wall down together. And what you see in those images? I’m am my biggest critic and I swear they took my breath away.

“This is so much more than just ‘sexy photos.’ I think so often when we think of boudoir that’s what we think of. It’s about finding your voice and feeling that love for yourself, and everyone deserves to feel that. This is the definition of a safe space, and that makes it so much easier to just let go. I think that Erika and Mike both have this amazing ability to key in on your personality and draw these amazing, emotive images out as a result. Be ready to give 100 percent of yourself and what you’ll get in return is breathtaking.”

To book your own solo boudoir session with Allebach Photography, call 610.539.6920 or visit http://allebachphotography.com/contact/

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