{"id":5171,"date":"2020-01-09T14:49:28","date_gmt":"2020-01-09T19:49:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/allebachphotography.com\/blog\/?p=5171"},"modified":"2024-04-19T15:53:28","modified_gmt":"2024-04-19T19:53:28","slug":"why-i-need-to-be-in-the-picture-moms-can-you-relate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allebachphotography.com\/blog\/why-i-need-to-be-in-the-picture-moms-can-you-relate\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I Need To Be In The Picture (Moms, Can You Relate?)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Being photographed despite my protests<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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The name I answer to the most is “Mom” but the rest of the world knows me as Erika. I am one of the hundreds… thousands\u2026 millions maybe… of moms who rarely make it into photographs with their children. Sure I\u2019ve taken the occasional selfie that I didn\u2019t totally despise, but my kids’ dad has thousands of timeless, invaluable moments to look back on thanks to my diligent photography skills. When we were together, I asked him here or there to get a picture of this or that, but I tended to delete them because \u201cugh, look at all that baby weight!\u201d In short… I Hate Photos Of Myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Where’s Mom?<\/em><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Now that our oldest daughter is 4 and our youngest is going on 10 months, I\u2019m really regretting choosing my vanity over keeping these fleeting moments captured to enjoy years later. I mean Avery is practically an adult now and Tessa may as well be driving\u2026 That\u2019s how fast it\u2019s all going!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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What are they going to say years later when they look back on these photos\u2026? \u201cLook how much fun we\u2019re having with Daddy! Look when he took us to the beach. Remember when he took us on the Ferris wheel?! Look how cute we all are snuggled up. I miss those days\u2026\u201d And then the dreaded\u2026 \u201cWhere\u2019s mom?\u201d Sorry girls\u2026 Mom was too busy judging herself to allow those moments to be kept forever. Her face was a little too chubby at that moment and that was more important than the pure joy in your face when I was swinging you around, or spinning you so fast on the teacups we were both laughing hysterically. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is that really the conversation I want to have with them down the road? Because that\u2019s where my lack of presence was heading. And if that isn\u2019t bad enough, they hear that judgment. I\u2019m setting the tone of self-worth being directly linked to my weight and how I look. I\u2019m paving their way to lives of self-judgment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The gift of a lifetime<\/em><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

So where does that leave me\u2026? How do I fix this\u2026? Honestly, I had just about given up on the answer to that. I figured as long as I reminded them that their worth is so deep and beautiful and impenetrable that those words would stick more than seeing their own mother\u2019s self-loathing. That is… until I was gifted with an opportunity. A chance to change the narrative in my head and course correct the path I was leading my children on. 

In October of last year (2019), I started working for Mike Allebach of Allebach Photography. Each and every day I got to share in so many clients’ joy from the experiences Mike created for them. There’s never a dull moment, but I sometimes felt a tinge of envy. I wanted to have photographs of myself that I fell in love with like his clients do every day. Little did I know, Christmas Eve, I would receive the greatest gift of all. I had no one to watch the girls that day, which meant I couldn\u2019t go into work without them. So when I told Mike, he was excited to invite them in for a session as a Christmas present. What an amazing gift! My kids are the cutest kids that ever lived\u2026 Sorry, all you other kids\u2026 it\u2019s true though. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I called the hair and makeup artist to do Avery\u2019s hair (and my makeup since I would be seeing family that evening) and ordered some cute, renaissance inspired outfits for the girls. I was SO excited since, you know, Mike is amazing! I considered being in them, Mike did hint to that, but I decided it just wasn\u2019t in the cards for me. I\u2019m the heaviest I\u2019ve ever been and I\u2019ve been out of sorts for months because of a knee injury. No chance\u2026 Mike\u2026 NO. CHANCE.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The lessons I learned<\/em><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m sure it\u2019s no mystery where this story is going, because of all the incredible things Mike is known for, my favorite is the way he will take a stand for you when you won\u2019t do it for yourself. So in the middle of the chaos of photographing two children, Mike instructed me to get on a robe, drape myself in some fabric, and go sit with my girls. I really didn\u2019t think this was going to work and I decided to humor him because I knew the photos of my girls would be better than anything including me. 

I know\u2026 You\u2019re all here for this shocking conclusion, but when I tell you I truly was shocked, it\u2019s an understatement. As Mike went through each photo of us, my inner dialogue was ping-ponging back and forth. \u201cThere\u2019s no way he didn\u2019t photoshop these.\u201d \u201cThere\u2019s no way he had TIME to photoshop these!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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What I saw in each and every photo was pure love, adoration, and awe I have for my children. I didn\u2019t see my weight or my chubby face or any other cruel criticism I tell myself. I saw Me… as their Mom… the way people around me see me. I saw the joy in my eyes that I feel in my heart when Avery kisses Tessa, or when Tessa smiles up at me with her chunky-one-dimpled smile, or when Avery tells me I\u2019m her best friend. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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What\u2019s even better? I get to remind myself of those feelings every single time I look at these photos, and that reminder quiets the negativity in my head. My heart sings a lot louder now. I even let Avery take pictures of me, and when I tell you they\u2019re unflattering, it\u2019s an understatement. But I\u2019ll never delete them. This experience has gifted me with a deep appreciation for what I have, who I am to my girls, and who they are to me. And there is nothing in the world more valuable than that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

After over 20 years of being the one holding the camera, my perspective has completely transformed. If you want to hear more about my experience on the other side of the lens, give me a call or shoot me a text! It’s definitely my favorite thing to talk about. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Erika Letitia has over 10 years’ experience as a photography studio and production manager. Learn more about our studio at\u00a0allebachphotography.com<\/a><\/em> or by texting 610.539.6920. Join our facebook group here<\/a>
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Being photographed despite my protests The name I answer to the most is “Mom” but the rest of the world knows me as Erika. I am one of the hundreds… thousands\u2026 millions maybe… of moms who rarely make it into photographs with their children. Sure I\u2019ve taken the occasional selfie that I didn\u2019t totally despise, … <\/p>\n

Read more “Why I Need To Be In The Picture (Moms, Can You Relate?)”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":666670,"featured_media":5894,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[520,521,1],"tags":[33,313,10,538],"class_list":["post-5171","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family","category-moms","category-uncategorized","tag-allebach-photography","tag-family-photo-session","tag-philadelphia-2","tag-renaissance-of-mom"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy I Need To Be In The Picture (Moms, Can You Relate?)<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/allebachphotography.com\/blog\/why-i-need-to-be-in-the-picture-moms-can-you-relate\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why I Need To Be In The Picture (Moms, Can You Relate?)\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Being photographed despite my protests The name I answer to the most is “Mom” but the rest of the world knows me as Erika. 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