{"id":5129,"date":"2020-01-06T13:34:34","date_gmt":"2020-01-06T18:34:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.allebachphotography.com\/blog\/?p=5129"},"modified":"2020-01-07T11:14:51","modified_gmt":"2020-01-07T16:14:51","slug":"body-image-exploring-love-for-your-body-in-2020","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allebachphotography.com\/blog\/body-image-exploring-love-for-your-body-in-2020\/","title":{"rendered":"You Don’t Have to Love Your Body in 2020"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

How to live at peace in your body this year. <\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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IIustration by <\/a>Kelly Bastow<\/a> \/<\/em>Moose Kleenex<\/a> Shared with permission<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

“I just want to feel like me again.” She said in soft slow tones explaining why she wanted to be photographed, “Last year was a hell of a year and to be honest I got really lost. I want to feel at home in my body. I\u2019m getting older and my body is changing. I want to love myself again because I\u2019ve lost my way. I don\u2019t remember who I am.\u00a0 Life has gotten so busy and I have to handle so much to do, so many people to take care of. I\u2019ve forgotten who I truly am. I don\u2019t know what it means to be me, I want to remember that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what my clients share with me Every. Single. Day. It’s so common, I’ve come to understand it as the new American anthem.\u00a0 People have lost their identity. They say, “Help me find me. Help me love my skin, organs, muscles, and bones. My body is changing. I\u2019m getting older and if I can\u2019t love myself now, when can I?” Or they say, “I want to look back on this body and appreciate it.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some days I hear the opposite. \u201cFor so long I\u2019ve hated this body and now we\u2019ve come to speaking terms. I\u2019ve worked hard to get here I want you to document me. I am ready to be photographed\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most people would agree, when we feel great we give the world our best.  We show up for others. When we feel beautiful, when we own the space, when we carry our weight with pride, when we feel strong and hold our head high, despite all the things we were taught to hate about ourselves, we live our best lives. But how?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I work in the business of bodies.\u00a0 Specifically, I photograph them as a boudoir photographer. In simpler terms, I make space for people to play dress up. They get made up, strip down, try on different identities and clothes and peel off false ideals like onion layers off of their soul. They explore relationships with themselves or others in a safe place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But this story didn\u2019t begin as a photographer<\/em>.\u00a0 It started 19 years ago when I played guitar in an idealistic punk rock band and penned the words in an anti-body dysmorphic anthem \u201cCovergirl, you\u2019ve been lied to and you\u2019ve been tricked\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The song goes on saying \u201cI want you to love me for who I am.\u201d  Present-day Mike is still asking the same questions as high school Mike, \u201cAre we our bodies?\u201d and “What is acceptance?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before I dove into the question of body, soul, mind connection I had some personal work to do. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Living in a Culture of Body Dysmorphia <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

As a photographer, I\u2019ve gotten to watch hundreds of people see their photos for the first time. It\u2019s amazing to experience people seeing their photos for the first time and squealing with joy.\u00a0 “I can\u2019t believe that\u2019s me!!!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And occasionally watching them notice things no one else would notice or things that aren\u2019t there. I\u2019ve photographed people medically diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, a condition that affects 2.4% of the population.\u00a0 This condition causes people to obsess over parts of their bodies in an OCD way. It causes people to see their bodies in ways other people can\u2019t see or imagine. What does that leave the rest of us with? If we haven\u2019t been diagnosed, what is it that we have?

Body-negativity is the only term I can think of. I think we are living in a culture of body negativity. It sells. We are the collateral damage from years of marketing, messages, and media saying \u201cwe are not enough.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we don\u2019t have the disorder, the same messages have soaked down to our soul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I will love my body when\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I will love my body if\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I will be worthy when\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And at the end of each of these statements is a host of companies selling products promising that result. The rhythmic drumming beats of the American marketing machine \u201cYou Are Not Enough.\u201d  Hundreds of times a day we hear that in subtle ways. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

No wonder why we struggle to love the skin we are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I asked Teri Ledgerwood, founder of Body Image Bootcamp, why people are uncomfortable in their own skin. She said, \u201cThere are a plethora of reasons starting with the way our brain is wired for survival, comparison theory, and negativity bias. Combine that with the over-representation of one body type (thin, white, blonde). Marketing understands the way to get people to spend money is to highlight and create problems where the only solution is for people to buy a product or service to rectify such ‘problems’<\/em>.\u00a0 This causes us to feel like we don’t fit in. Then, you add in the people you surround yourself with who have their own believes about certain bodies and you grow believing that that is true, until you start to do the work necessary to combat it. People think they want to be individuals, but what they truly want is to be accepted as an individual.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Male Bodyscape<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

One of the biggest surprises as a photographer has been seeing this in all types of bodies, no matter their type or gender. Body negativity does not discriminate.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen this in men who are skinny, those who aren\u2019t, and every single body type in between. I\u2019ve seen this in muscular bodybuilders. Even worse, how athletic men compare their bodies to their bodies at 21. American culture has given us two extremes that most men don’t fit into. While I’ve found most women’s insecurity about their body is more prevalent in day-to-day experience, most men have low-grade body negativity. It only comes into play when the subject of photos is brought up or in swimming situations. With many males it doesn’t affect them on a daily basis, they just will not want their photos posts.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.” <\/p>Bren\u00e9 Brown<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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Some cutie booties~<\/a><\/p>

A post shared by @ moosekleenex<\/a> on